Our journey to adoption has been a road of many fears being met by a faithful God.

We talked about the possibility of adoption while we were still dating. Two and a half years into our marriage I gave birth to a baby boy. About two years later, my husband mentioned that he felt that our lives were too comfortable – that something needed to change. He wasn’t sure how, but we prayed about it together.

For several weeks straight, every time I read my Bible, heard a sermon, or prayed, God was speaking very loudly and very clearly to me. He was stirring our hearts… toward adoption.

My husband and I were on the same page and said “yes” to this calling. We attended an adoption/foster care meeting at our church where we heard from parents who were loving and caring for children from hard places. They spoke to us with honesty about the struggles they were facing. We unknowingly had a ‘sunshine and rainbows’ view of adoption, so the things I heard people share at this meeting terrified me. Truthfully, after hearing about the possible struggles of adoption and children from hard places, I said, “Nope. This is not for me. It sounds like more than I can handle, so I will just support other people who want to do it.”

But the stirring in our hearts was still there. God was calling us to move past our fears and trust Him.

One of my favorite quotes is “A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships were built for.” We wanted to protect ourselves from the scary unknowns and fears and stay in our safe harbor. We often only want to do the things that we know we can control, or when we have all the answers. Yet God was calling us to live in a way where we could be in over our heads and beyond our own capacity. He promised to be with us and to provide for us. And that is what we clung to. He was asking us to live our lives as though we truly believe His promises and to trust that He is who He says He is.

During our journey to adopt, there were still many fears to overcome. Fears of the finances to raise, the unknowns about this child, and how adoption would affect our family. The biggest fear came when it was time to hop on a plane and fly to China to bring home our precious son. Don’t get me wrong. We cared for this little one and wanted to be his forever family. Our hearts desired these things, but it was still terrifying.

The days leading up to our departure, were filled with anxiety. The fears were affecting me physically and were overwhelming me. I kept praying for God to take these fears away, but He didn’t. Then a friend shared this quote with me:

“Sometimes when we are called to obey, the fear does not subside and we are expected to move against the fear. One must choose to do it afraid.” – Elisabeth Eliot

So we did it afraid. We hopped on the plane and reminded ourselves of all the ways God had proven Himself faithful in our journey so far. He started this journey in our hearts, and He would be faithful to provide all that we needed.

On October 25, 2015 we met our precious boy, Samuel. Our time in China, as well as our time since being home, have been full of struggles as we are all adjusting to life together as a family. But God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow has been faithful through it all.

Although it has not been easy, God has indeed provided for us each day. Not in a way that makes us feel like we’ve got this, but in a way that brings us to the end of ourselves and fully dependent on Him.

Even though our first months with Samuel were difficult, God blessed us with glimpses of hope and beauty. My husband and I were amazed with all the changes and growth in our son after only four short months of being home.

Here are a few:

– A little boy who only wanted to lie on the hard floor, alone, to drink his bottle is now coming to us to hold him while he drinks his milk.

– A little boy who was only walking wobbly while holding a hand is now walking, running and climbing independently.

– A little boy who had only had formula and didn’t know how to put food in his own mouth is now using a spoon to feed himself.

– A little boy who has struggled to gain weight all of his life and is not even on the growth chart is gaining weight quickly.

– A little boy who used to take some pretty hard falls and wouldn’t make a sound has recently started crying when he is hurt because he is learning that someone cares about his pain and wants to comfort him.

Had we allowed our fears to prevent us from adopting we would have definitely insulated our lives from a lot of struggles and heartache, but we would have also missed out on SO much. We would have missed an opportunity to be a part of a story much bigger than ourselves. We would have missed a chance to change a little boy’s life and to have him change ours. We would have missed all of the joys and celebrations over his growth and victories.

Our family and lives are much richer for choosing to “do it afraid”.

– guest post by Lindsey